Validation

 IMPORTANCE OF VALIDATION

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Validation is a simple concept, which is easy to understand but hard to put into practice. When you recognize and accept your own emotions and that of others as valid, you are validating existence.

You may ask – why do we need validation? Isn’t existence a given thing?

See, everyone exists. No matter from which religion, and ethnicity they belong too, human life has evolved over millions of years and we are what we are today.

But, an essential aspect is lacking. We have forgotten to validate the feelings of others. We have forgotten to validate the emotions of others.

“Step into the other person’s shoe and you will understand” is an often quoted proverb. It is necessary to validate the emotions and experiences of the other person, not only because it is the humane thing to do but also because rejection or ignorance of emotions creates problems and discomfort in our relations too.

Before you begin to validate someone else’s emotional need and understanding, you need to self-validate yourself. You need to recognize your own internal emotional experience. You need to recognize your vulnerabilities, your shortcoming, your positives, and acknowledge anguishing experienced.

 Importance of Validation

Validation is important for a lot of reasons. It influences our behaviour and relationships, and helps us to become better persons.

(1)     Keeping our Emotions in Check

Life is a rollercoaster ride where without proper channelization, emotions run riot. We think and over think situations and circumstances that merit little acknowledgement and blow it out of proportion. Often, we come across situations in life when we don’t know what to do.

In such a situation, knowing that someone understands us is an immense source of satisfaction. “You don’t understand me” is perhaps the often mention lines between any kind of relationship.

How can this understanding take place? Pause for a second and think. A deep-rooted understanding and emotional bonding happens when you validate each other’s feelings, fears and experiences.

Validation helps to soothe a person emotionally.

(2)     It is an Identity Builder

Everyone, whoever he or she is, wants an identity. No one wishes to lead a life without any measures of existence.

Validation becomes an identity builder. In life, a person takes decisions and makes choices daily. Our life is a reflection of these decisions. When another person, usually a close one, reflects our thoughts and reflects ‘us’, we not only understand how our desires and wishes panned out but also feel an immense sense of validation.

We feel accepted. We belong. And, no matter what anyone says, a human being wants to belong with other people.

(3)     It builds Relationships

A relationship, in whatever capacity, often becomes one-sided when the feeling of validation starts to lack or was never there in the first place.

The lack of validation is one of the reasons why couples part ways or feel the relation begin to stagnate after some time. This lack of validation is not visible at the outset but it is something which happens internally, at the subconscious level.

We become so immersed with ourselves and what we want that we forget or deliberately ignore what the other person is feeling or what role the other person plays in the equation.

Validation is the ingredient of a strong relationship. Understand what the other person is thinking, listen to them, acknowledge their experiences, and you’ll find yourself in a better and fulfilling relationship zone.

(4)    Acknowledging their Existence

Validation is a source of acknowledging existence. Whether that person is your child, spouse, friend, or a parent, validating their thoughts and actions makes them feel that they are important to you and in your life. They will feel a sense of acceptance and belonging.

Never ignore your near and dear ones. No matter how much you’re busy pursuing goals and desires, always have a moment for people who care and value you. Care and cherish them in return. Whether you accept or not, they always play an indirect role in your success and you got to validate that contribution, if nothing else.

(5)     Spread Happiness

Self-validation is very important.

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

Seeking external validation is good but you need to help, support and validate yourself. When you are feeling depressed and morose, seeking validation from others is a natural stance. Next time, stop and look within.

Self-validation is all about becoming your own support system. You, in turn, become happier and a contended person; you’ll find yourself sharing this happiness with anyone and everyone around you.

You’re the center of your Universe.

Check out this motivational video on validation.

Source: manningupsmart.com