10 Signs It’s Time to Dump Your Therapist
Therapy is a lot more common today than it was even 10 years ago. People see therapists for a variety of reasons and many people say that it helps them a lot. It may help them reach goals, get over fears, or get past a particularly bad spot in their lives.
Unfortunately, not all therapists are helpful and not all therapists are suited towards an individual’s needs and personality. Because of that it may be necessary to dump your therapist, move on, and find a better solution for you.
How do you know when it is time to end your relationship with your therapist though? Here are 10 signs that it might be time for you to move on:
#1 The Therapist is more interested in his/her own goals than your goals
When you are seeing a therapist, they should respect your reasons for being there. This is your show. You are there because you have needs or goals that you want to accomplish. While there may be other things you could work ok, your therapist should be addressing the needs that you are aware of first. If you become aware of other issues that you need to work on while you are there and decide you need to address them that should be your decision.
#2 The Therapist attempts to have a relationship outside of the office
Your relationship with your therapist should always be professional. Your therapist is not your friend or your mother or father or something else. You are paying them to help you. If your therapist starts to guide your relationship in a direction that is anything but professional, he/she will not be able to give you the help that you need.
#3 The therapist spends more time talking than you do
Time at your therapist’s office is yours. You are paying for them to list to you, not the other way around. While you are there, you should be doing the majority of the talking. If you feel like you can’t get a word in edgewise, the therapist is doing too much talking. Don’t let your therapist turn the session into being about them. Remember that they are there for you – not the other way around!
#4 The therapist uses psychobabble all the time
Do you have a hard time figuring out what your therapist is talking about half of the time? That is not very helpful is it? In order for your therapist to help you, he/she needs to use language that you can understand. If the therapist speaks as if they are talking to someone that understands the jargon commonly used when speaking to another therapist, you will not benefit from your time in sessions.
#5 The therapist spends most of the session on a smartphone
You should be your therapist’s only concern when you are there in a session. If the smartphone in your therapist’s hand is getting more attention than you are, you are not getting your money’s worth. You should especially be concerned if you find that you have to repeat yourself a lot or if he/she asks questions that you have already answered while you were talking.
#6 The therapist is always late but your sessions always end on time
Everyone is late once in a while but if your therapist is late on a regular basis and then ends your session on time, they are not being respectful of your time. It is bad enough that most therapists run on a 50 minute hour (they say the other 10 minutes is for doing paperwork regarding your situation) but if you are constantly being shorted on the time when you should be talking and working things out, your therapist is not giving you the full service that you deserve.
#7 The therapist forgets important facts and points that you have discussed
Yes, there will be times when your therapist might ask you to repeat something you’ve said to confirm it or to see if you still feel the same way, but most of the time they should be prepared for your meeting and they should know what issues you are dealing with. If your therapist forgets about the childhood event that haunts you or your fear of crowded spaces, he/she is not paying much attention. So what is the therapist doing while you are talking then? You have the right to be heard – especially when you are paying for it!
#8 The therapist is judgmental of you, your lifestyle, your family, etc.
You should never feel judged when you are in your therapist’s office. It should be a safe place where you should be able to talk about yourself, your relationships, and your feelings. If your therapist makes you feel small, bad, or somehow just less, you will have a hard time revealing things in the future.
#9 The therapist is touchy, huggy, or otherwise inappropriate
Your therapist should never initiate touch, in any way. Even simple hand touches or hugs should not be part of your therapy unless they can give you a good reason for it. Some therapists have use simple touching as a way to see if they can take it further and have been known to take advantage of the situation. If inappropriate touching does occur, let your therapist know that you are not comfortable with it right away. If it continues, end your relationship with the therapist immediately.
#10 The therapist insist that your therapy is not done
Some therapists have been known to continue sessions with people long after they have ended just because it is an easy way to keep their schedule booked. Only you will know for sure when your therapy is done. If you try to end it your therapist might give you something to think about but ultimately, if you say you are done, they should not pressure you into extending your therapy beyond when you think you need it.
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