10 Secrets You Should Never Share on the First Date

First dates can be hard! What should you talk about? What shouldn’t you talk about? Yes, you should be yourself but you don’t have to lay it all out on the line and there are some secrets that you shouldn’t share on your first date.

Why should you hold anything back? You don’t know the other person well enough yet. Why should you throw your secrets out there to a person that is pretty much a stranger? There will be a time to reveal your secrets but the first date is not it. Use the first date to get a feel for who they are, what they like, what things you might have in common and generally just feel them out.

Be honest, but if you can avoid it, here are a few things you should not reveal on the first date.

1. Your Financial State – Good or Bad

There are plenty of people that will never even take the time to get to know you once they find out what kind of finances you have. But once they get to know you, money may not matter so much. So, don’t talk about the $50,000 you have socked away or the fact that you are $50,000 in debt because of student loans. Your first date is not the time to talk about this.

Of course, this is not to say that you should never talk about this. If you like the person you are dating and you think there may be a future with them, you will have to have that chat. But see if you even like them before talking about money. You don’t want to doubt her feelings for you because you revealed that you are independently wealthy on the first date do you?

2. Your Relationship with Your Ex’s

People can make a lot of assumptions about you based on the relationship you have with your ex. If it is too good, they may assume that you have problems letting go or that there is still something going on. If your relationship with your ex is really bad, they might assume that you’re a psycho or your ex is a psycho and they likely don’t want that kind of baggage. If there is an unusual situation with an ex that is really good or really bad, get to know the person you are dating and let them get to know you before you reveal this.

3. You Hate Your Job

Would you date someone that admitted that they absolutely despised their job? Not likely. People who hate their jobs are often pretty miserable in other parts of their life, too. It is very difficult to work at a job you hate and then come home with a fresh attitude. When someone hates their job they often talk about it a lot and who wants to listen to that kind of negative talk all night long?

4. Your Biological Clock is Ticking

No matter how much you want to have children, don’t talk about this on the first date. Whether or not you are dating a guy or a girl, this little tidbit can send them running for bathroom to hatch an escape plan. No one, even someone that wants children, wants to know that their date is sizing them up for their mommy/daddy potential.

Give them the time to get to know you and yourself the time to find out if they are even the type of person you might want to have children with. You can’t possibly know that on the first date.

5. How long It’s Been Since You’ve Had Sex

Whether you last had sex last night or 5 years ago, someone you are on a first date with does not need to know that much about you. The fact that you last had sex 5 years ago could be because you have a problem with relationships, that you hate sex, or that you are just selective. But they won’t know that. No matter what you tell them, they are bound to make some assumptions. Your sexual history should remain just that – history!

6. How Long You’ve Been in Therapy For

People use therapy for different reasons. But you don’t know how your date feels about therapy. If you see a therapist (and many people do), save this information for later on in your relationship. Why tell someone you barely know about the reasons you see a therapist?

7. Your Sexual Fetishes

If you have certain fetishes, your date likely doesn’t want to know about them yet. Unless you met on a dating site where people are all into the same kind of fetishes, this is not appropriate first date talk. Talking about sexual fetishes on a first date will make them feel pressured or they may assume that you are just looking for a sexual relationship.

8. Your Past Addictions

If you’ve had an addiction in the past you shouldn’t reveal this secret on the first date. There will be a time that you need to tell them about that if you progress from dating into a relationship but the first date is not the time. As long as you have dealt with that addiction and are in recovery then it shouldn’t be an issue but it can become an issue if you talk about it too soon. If you’re still addicted? Well, you likely shouldn’t be dating anyway.

9. Drunk Stories

No one wants to hear about how sexually free you are when you’re drunk or about the stupid things you have done. If you start talking about those things on the first date, they might assume that you are still a party animal and that you are just looking for someone to drink with.

10. Your Dream Wedding

Most women have some version of a dream wedding running through their head. Guys don’t want to know about it until they’ve popped the question. Talking to him about your dream wedding will make him think that you want to marry him. He’ll run – fast!